Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marijuana. Show all posts
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Osama Bin-Laden - Not The First In A Long History Of Pot-Smoking Terrorists
From the New York Daily News... One step removed from the National Enquirer, or Razer's local paper:
"Small plots of marijuana found growing on bin Laden compound perimeter"
"Reporters at Bin Laden's million-dollar hideout discovered small plots of marijuana growing in the deserted lots on the compound's perimeter.
The dope plants were planted on three sides of the compound..."
(OMFG Duuuude it's a 'Must Read')
Speaking of drugs, Terrorists, et al you REALLY NEED TO KNOW about...
"The 5 most ridiculous moments in terrorist history"
"Many past terrorists, even some of the most notorious ones, have been complete morons." ~~Anonymous, former DoD counterintelligence analystAnonymous, at Tremble The Devil:
It’s generally a bad idea to leave the keys to your getaway car inside of the carbomb you’ve just rigged with fireworks, three propane tanks, a couple 5-gallon jugs of gasoline, and 100 pounds of explosive fertilizer.
Makes it kind of hard to get home.
Wait wait, make that non-explosive fertilizer actually – because you’re too stupid to bother googling what kinds of fertilizer actually blow up. Plus, what makes it even harder to get home is also locking your house keys inside of the same carbomb. And it’s probably an ever worse idea to release a YouTube video claiming responsibility for the attack before it even happens… especially when your attack hinges on a bunch of fireworks left in a bucket igniting a bunch of explosive material that’s not even exposed to the air.
But that was the modus operandi for Faisal Shahzad, just one in a long line of really, really stupid terrorists.
For reasons that’ll soon grow obvious, after the successful execution of an FBI sting against a group of ex-cons who’d converted to radical Islam in prison last summer, one of the media’s favorite quotes has been that at least one of the men is “intellectually challenged.”
This is said like it somehow makes him incapable of carrying out a terrorist plot. Like all past terrorists have been clever. Sinister, devious fellows who used their sharp wits and bright minds to think their way past our defenses. Like much of terrorism, this is an illusion. Many past terrorists, even some of the most notorious ones, have been complete morons.
It was only two years ago that two terrorists were thwarted from bombing an airline terminal when their Jeep Cherokee got stuck beneath the awning of the Glasgow International Airport.
One of the duo fled from the Jeep in flames, and was forever immortalized when a Scottish cabby kicked him so hard in the crotch that the heroic cabby broke his own foot, leaving us with the absolutely epic headline:
I Kicked a Burning Terrorist So Hard in Balls That I Tore a Tendon In My Foot
And in fact so many terrorists have been so ridiculously stupid that the failure of this most recent plot doesn’t even break into the top five.
The media’s also keyed in on the fact that the ringleader in last year’s NYC plot smoked up during the day of their foiled attack, and was still so high he told the judge he only “sort of” understood what was going on around him. Which brings us to our first moment:
5. The formation of the Assassin sect
If it wasn’t for weed, we might still have Ghandi, Abe Lincoln, Dr. Martin Luther King, and JFK with us today.
You might even say that their deaths never would have happened if some old dead Muslims hadn’t been baked out of their minds.
Nowadays when you get high you’re pretty much only a threat to someone’s life if they happen to be a Dorito, but back in the day getting higher than a giraffe’s ass was an inescapable prerequisite for joining what’s become the world’s most notorious fraternity of killers.
And the term “fraternity” isn’t used loosely here, as about any SAE pledge-master would be put to shame by the initiation ceremony of the original Assassins – but more about that shortly.
The term Assassin actually loosely translates to “pot-head.” Labeled Hashshasheen in their native Arabic, literally “those who smoke that dank-ass Mediterranian hash,” the Crusaders who first encountered them decided this was a bit too much of a mouthful so over the years the term was anglicized to the more familiar “assassin.” As it turns out, smoking the sticky-icky was an integral part of becoming an Assassin.
Led by the Old Man of the Mountain, who you can think of as some kind of terrible killer Arabic pot-smoking Santa Claus, the original Assassins were a Shiite sect headquartered in the Persian crags where they’d plot their attacks, swooping down into cities and royal courts to stab the hell out of whoever was opposing their will. After, of course, smoking copious amounts of dope. In this way the Assassins managed to consolidate an empire that was both vast and, presumably, very hazy.
To become an Assassin you first had to go through a trial that is fairly unique in history. A prospective initiate had to smoke hash until he blacked out. Seriously. The first step to becoming an assassin was to literally smoke yourself retarded.
Afterwards you’d awaken in a lush garden, filled with fountains and the most beautiful damsels in all the land, who would feed him every type of delicious morsel and subject you to sexual pleasures he might not even had known were possible. Odds are, to become an assassin you’d have to be cool with having a finger stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Possibly the back of a Volkswagen.
As the day went on you were given more and more pleasures, and more and more hash, until you passed out from the dope once again. A finger may still have been somewhere uncomfortable. When you woke up, the whole process began again, until finally an Assassin explains that what you’ve just experienced was but a tiny glimpse into the Paradise that awaited you if you would die for Allah as an Assassin.
Once you accepted their offer you would learn all the ways of the dagger (while high), how to mix poisons (while high), become a master of disguises (also while high), and how to pass for a member of any religion or culture in the region (while, of course, high). On your mission you must be focused on the kill alone, not your own escape, or where to find some munchies.
Assassins carried out hundreds of bleary-eyed killings as they spread their empire from Persia across the rest of the Middle East, and faded from notoriety only after their supply of marijuana finally ran dry.
But the best part…
Actually, they never ran out of dope, they were all brutally slaughtered by Genghis Khan’s Golden Horde in 1255.
One of them, probably while giggling and making Big Lebowski references, felt it necessary to assassinate one of Genghis’s sons because he wouldn’t let his Muslim sect – big shocker coming – pray as much as they wanted to.
So Genghis Khan sent word out that there was going to be a census, and every member of the Assassin sect made their way to the nearest city so that they’d be counted and get their piece of the pie, or pot-brownie or whatever.
But instead of being counted, the assembled Assassins were brutally slaughtered where they stood by the Golden Horde’s cavalry. The few who escaped were eventually tracked down and sent to the widow of Khan’s brother, so that she could torture them to death one-by-one in whatever manner she wished.
So tap a little out for your most infamous forbearers the next time you pack a fatty in front of season two of The Chappelle Show (Cf.).
Shockingly, the history of terrorism only gets more absurd in modern times...Read About all five stupid terrorist tricks @ Tremble The Devil, the story of terrorism as Jesus Christ, James Bond, and Osama bin Ladin would tell it (and be very afraid).
Monday, May 24, 2010
Action Alert: Federally Funded Drug Squad Seizes Petition For Pot Legalization In Washington State
I KNEW you could!
An Alert, from Firedoglake:
Sensible Washington is the group whose marijuana legalization petitions were seized by the federally funded agents. The group is well on its way to let Washington State residents vote on legalization on the November ballot, but this raid can put it in jeopardy.
The intended effect of this raid is to put a chill on other citizens from signing the petition, who will fear having their names and addresses exposed to a drug task force. It's intimidation, pure and simple. And your tax dollars are paying for it.
A federally funded drug task force seized as evidence up to 200 petition signatures for marijuana legalization in Washington State in a series of early-morning raids this week. Seizing the petition signatures is bad enough. What's worse is what the task force did on its raids of a legal marijuana dispensary and its owner's home.Drug agents handcuffed a 14-year-old boy and pointed a gun at his head. Then they took $80 from a 9-year-old girl's Minnie Mouse wallet that she earned for straight A's on her report card.
Now the drug agents - funded by the US Department of Justice - say they can only find two pages of the petition. But they had time to make photocopies of the petition, keeping the names and addresses of residents who signed.
We started our own petition demanding the release of the seized signatures that we'll deliver to the task force headquarters next week.
Ironically, it's this kind of reckless waste of time and money that makes marijuana legalization a safer, smarter alternative than the failed war on drugs.
Sensible Washington is the group whose marijuana legalization petitions were seized by the federally funded agents. The group is well on its way to let Washington State residents vote on legalization on the November ballot, but this raid can put it in jeopardy.
The intended effect of this raid is to put a chill on other citizens from signing the petition, who will fear having their names and addresses exposed to a drug task force. It's intimidation, pure and simple. And your tax dollars are paying for it.
That's why it's important we speak out about this gross violation of first amendment rights. We need to make sure that not only is every petition signature returned, but any other copies must be destroyed.
The only thing these petition signatures are evidence of is an exercise in democracy.
Sign the petition HERE
Thanks for standing with us,
Jane Hamsher
Firedoglake.com
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Times Square 'Bomber' Faisal Shahzad: "...just one in a long line of really, really stupid terrorists."
Tremble The Devil... 5 most ridiculous moments in terrorist history"Being afraid of terrorists makes about as much sense as being afraid of a drunk blindfolded one-legged midget who’s hopping around throwing cabbages at your head.
Terrorists don’t create terrorism – we do".
To become an Assassin you first had to go through a trial that is fairly unique in history. A prospective initiate had to smoke hash until he blacked out.
Seriously.
The first step to becoming an assassin was to literally smoke yourself retarded.
Afterwards you’d awaken in a lush garden, filled with fountains and the most beautiful damsels in all the land, who would feed him every type of delicious morsel and subject you to sexual pleasures he might not even had known were possible. Odds are, to become an assassin you’d have to be cool with having a finger stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Possibly the back of a Volkswagen.
As the day went on you were given more and more pleasures, and more and more hash, until you passed out from the dope once again. A finger may still have been somewhere uncomfortable. When you woke up, the whole process began again, until finally an Assassin explains that what you’ve just experienced was but a tiny glimpse into the Paradise that awaited you if you would die for Allah as an Assassin.
Once you accepted their offer you would learn all the ways of the dagger (while high), how to mix poisons (while high), become a master of disguises (also while high), and how to pass for a member of any religion or culture in the region (while, of course, high). On your mission you must be focused on the kill alone, not your own escape, or where to find some munchies.
Assassins carried out hundreds of bleary-eyed killings as they spread their empire from Persia across the rest of the Middle East, and faded from notoriety only after their supply of marijuana finally ran dry.
But the best part…
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Drugging The Children Vs. Marijuana Legalization: "We WILL win in this battle pitting the organic forces of LIFE against the chemical forces of DEATH"
In light of the recently passed 4-2-0 celebration, a holiday for a harmless relaxing herb outlawed by the US government, this article show the INCREDIBLE SICKNESS OF AMERICAN ADULTS AND THE ABUSE OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN TO ENFORCE AN "ADULT" 'CONFORMITY' that makes MARIJUANA a NECESSITY in American society today:
Also See: Upping the anti (depressant) - Everything you'd want to know about the non-functionality of anti-depressantsAn American Phenomenon: The Widespread Psychiatric Drugging of Infants and Toddlers
The United States has become the psychiatric drugging capital of the world for kids with children being medicated at a younger and younger age.
Evelyn Pringle / CounterPunch
The United States has become the psychiatric drugging capital of the world for kids with children being medicated at a younger and younger age. Medicaid records in some states show infants less than a year old on drugs for mental disorders.
The use of powerful antipsychotics with privately insured children, aged 2 through 5 in the US, doubled between 1999 and 2007, according to a study of data on more than one million children with private health insurance in the January, 2010, "Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry In Full
"We WILL win in this battle pitting the organic forces of LIFE against the chemical forces of DEATH"
See our BONG razed(sic) in victory!
Join US!
Take it easy... But TAKE it!
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